That’s where Bitche$ Mahoney thought he would be by now.
But anyway, here’s a few annoyances I’ve come across one times too many upon entering the world of entry level positions.
1. You Need Experience To Obtain Experience
I know right?
When I search for work, I tend to use job sites like Indeed, Simply Hired, the career center on my school’s website, and most favorably Craiglist (thank you Based God).
Yeah he knows what it’s all about.
Craiglist tends to have far more interesting jobs posted than the other sites I listed. I once got a interview for a cigar shop (Bitche$ Mahoney) loves cigars, and I am currently pursing a Funeral Director’s Position at a local funeral parlor off of Craigslist.Now let’s get back to the main point shall we, a lot of the jobs posted onto these sites don’t consider the lack of experience those fresh out of high school don’t have. I once saw an ad for a pizza maker position posted onto Craigslist (yes there’s dumb stuff on Craigslist too, no one’s perfect), the thing that caught my eye was that the restaurant is looking for someone who has five years pizza tossing experience.
Douche Bags.And just today I attempted to apply for a dish washer’s position at French Bistro located near my neighborhood. After biking over there and spending 10 minutes filling out a application, my efforts were thwarted as the restaurant was looking for someone who knew how to work the mighty and scary dish washing equipment. I currently weigh an astounding 245, and that’s in bulk and muscle. So can you imagine me being afraid of a washing machine? Especially in a French restaurant, they didn’t even fight in the war.
Could you imagine spending five years flipping pizzas and washing dishes for minimum wage? That also doesn’t account for having to deal with crappy hours, and the manager and customers thinking they can treat you like trash. My Mother always told me never to be too proud to take any job that comes your way while you’re looking for something better. Ain’t that a heap of trash? I once cussed out an old manager, one can take a job, but make sure you have some self respect about yourself.
These companies act like these little positions are some high paying, CEO type of deals. Like they can’t train you how to flip a pizza and use the dish washer, I’ve been washing dishes all my life and have never even flinched at the sight of one.
2. Management Expects You To Chase Them
Getting an entry level job is a lot like trying to get a girl to have sex with you. First you have to spend hours putting in applications (trying to get phone numbers), then you have keep calling the store in the hopes of getting an interview (hope that the girl texts you back and doesn’t bail on you when it’s time to hang out), and when you have the interview most of the time they decide to go with another candidate anyway (girl friend zones you and updates relationship status within the hour). The reason these jobs expect you to chase them around like a 16 year old girl is because they want you to prove that you want to work at their little retail store. Let’s be honest, at least you’re Spongebob, no one should really be satisfied working at F.Y.E for the rest of their life. Every interview I’ve even been to, I find the manager asking “how long to do you intend to stay with our company?”
Bitche$ Mahoney usually responds with “until I can find something better and jump ship. Biotch!”
Going back to the self respect thing, if you call back a place you applied to more than twice and can’t seem to get a hold of the manager. MOVE ON. Most likely it’s a waste of time, just like chasing a girl who says “maybe” to all your date proposals. Just dust off your work boots and keep hitting the old dusty trail to employment.
Now I can Buy That Cheeseburger I’ve Been Gawking At All Week.
Now to build on top of that, most of these stores have discount or magazine subscriptions corporate wants the employees to shove down your throat. Usually whoever gets the most subscriptions, gets the hours. So now you’re battling your fellow associates for hours, which really means you’re just one monthly evaluation away from getting fired. Ain’t that something?
4. Some People Spend Too Much Time Working These Jobs, Thus Making Them Desperate
Now I’m not trying to down anyone with this one, remember this is just a rant that’s based off my own experiences. I don’t know anyone’s particular situation, I acknowledge that some people need any job that they can get.
If you’re fresh out of high school and manage to slip into an entry level job, the most time you should spend working there is about one to three years. That’s just enough time to build your worth up and by then you’d be at least half way finished with college (if you’re even going to college, which I hope you are). Now if you’re able to stubble upon a grand piece of employment, hats off to you. But for those who can’t, after one or three years you should seriously consider looking for something a little bit higher on the ladder. This would prevent you from becoming contempt with such an insignificant piece of the pie.
Plus everyone knows that the state of being contempt is the distant cousin of the thing we know as the “midlife crisis.”
Still Works At Walmart, So He Bought A Sports Car
“This may not be the job I want, but it’s the job I’ll work until I find something better” – Every Person Over 25 Who Still Works Entry Level Positions
Never become contempt in a minimum wage job, because the next day you know it, you’ll wake up, and still be working at Pizza Hut at the age of 25. When I was working at a call center, I was surrounded by a variety of fellows. Some were old and some were young, on paper it was an easy job, I was telemarketing for a charity. Now for the three weeks I worked there, I tried my best and did what the other happy, smiling, and joking fellas were doing to make a quick buck for a good cause. And no matter how hard I tried I found myself unable to perform as well as the other guys, and it’s not like I was cynical towards the position either, I was just happy to have a job.
After being faced with the threat of losing my job, I quickly had an epiphany. The other guys who worked at the call center did so well because they had accepted that that job was the best they were going to be able to do at the moment. While on the other hand I continuously day dreamed of getting this office job I was interviewed for a week earlier. So after making up my manly mind, Bitche$ Mahoney paused the computer, and walked out of the joint never to be heard from again.
Quit My Job Like A Bo$$!!
This all goes back to never getting contempt with where you are in life, always keep striving for something better. I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with grown men who were depressed because they were unable to find a decent job. The thing about depressed people is that they spend more time moaning about what’s troubling them, than actually trying to solve that problem. And those guys I talked to sure as hell weren’t looking for better jobs.
Bitche$ Mahoney Signing Off, Keep Striving People